Aita - Relationships | Forums | What to Expect (2024)

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gogetthemall

Something happened within my family recently where a few family members of mine talked bad about my husband. My husband now feels uncomfortable around them and I 100% understand. My husband didn’t go to my dad’s birthday, left early on my brothers birthday and at our sons bday get together he completely left my family out and focused on his. Again, I was patient and kind and i understood him. Then, within his family….. his brothers gf(who lives with my in laws) closed the door of their house in my face. I stopped talking to her and told my husband I felt uncomfortable around her but I still show up and stay at their family events. Unlike my husband who still doesn’t.

Now, I’m not the type to have lots of friends or like host people at my house. There is one friend of his that i do not like and I used to suck it up for him but now that he doesn’t suck it up I feel like I shouldn’t either. So, today he had friends come over (including this one friend) I said hi to everyone and offered a drink I felt like this was enough from me, grabbed my one yr old and went to my room. Now my husband is mad because he says I should stay to hang out with them when I really don’t like being social and more with his friends.

Aita for coming to my room now when I used to just suck it up?

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me100

What was said about him? Feeling uncomfortable around people is one thing but cutting them off is another level. Has he discussed it with them and tried to clear the air? Were the comments so bad that he can’t just be civil at family occassions?

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gogetthemall

@me100,

it was someone saying my husband had not paid him and then one of my cousins, my brother in law and supposedly my dad said ok well I’ll go with you so he can pay you you can’t let his person take your money. The thing is my dad was not with them that night and my husband doesn’t owe this person money. They were all just drunk. My husband is mad that no one defended him. And then my brother in law said ohh okay well where ever “X” is I’m not going to be. So yeah. I feel like they could all just deal with it and like you said be civil and everyone still talks to each other except for my husband.

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me100

@gogetthemall,

why doesn’t he just speak to them and sort it out. If they did wrong they could apologise and if it’s a misunderstanding they can explain. All of them owe it to you to atleast attempt to repair any rift. If it can’t be mended then you’ll really need to have a heart to heart to work out how you can really go forward because it’s going to keep putting a strain under your relationship if you’re both now feeling the other isn’t putting the effort in

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GreasyThong

It sounds like you both allow people to disrespect eachother. But if he wants to be petty and ignore everyone, but then gets upset that you do the same. I'm going to say NTA, but these situations are immature and I wouldn't want to live like that.

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CreedsThoughts

You guys need to work on communication in your lives because honestly what even is this entire situation lol

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jmlb554

There’s a lot going on here. I would question why there are so many people in your and your husband’s circle that one of you cannot handle being around.

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MommaStacy

@jmlb554,

this!

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mmh1999

I feel like the family issues your husband is having are petty and can be sorted out with a simple conversation. I don’t understand why you have to be required to hang out with your husbands friends tho… like you not liking one of them isn’t really the issue but if it’s his friends why do you need to be involved? I feel like being welcomed to hangout with them is nice but it shouldn’t be required if you don’t want to.. ��‍♀️

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BabyMPC

Why did BIL’s girlfriend shut the door on your face? The comments made by your family would bother me and make me feel uncomfortable, but I’m very upfront with people so I probably would have just addressed the situation and let them know how it made me feel.

Do you and your partner typically communicate well? I don’t think it’s typical to have so many interpersonal conflicts with your friends and families.

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